trainer's card
name: Mew
ID no.: 39853
class: Champion
nature: Hasty
money: 384 pokédollars
pokedéx: 421
Pokemon Master and Champion of the Hoenn region, I am Mew. Yo.

i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed:

pussykraken:

i honestly dont know how, when early 2000s dreamworks execs were faced with producing a cheap and fast knock-off capitalising of the success of finding nemo,  a movie composed of celebrities faces mo-capped and pasted onto uncanny valley fish people, fish puns, baffling attempts at hip-hop culture, mafia movie tropes, a plot stolen from a spaghetti western, a subplot shitting on L.A and jack black converged into existence but The Lord finds a way

dont you dare talk crap about Shark Tale who even are you

crrabs:

*tries to get eight hours sleep in 3 hours*

revedas:

babynatxo:

dandelionpunx:

Whoever wants to eat cookie dough and not get salmonella. Here ya go!

omg

Every woman? EVERY PERSON ON EARTH, MARS, OR WHEREVER THE HELL YOU ARE SHOULD HAVE THIS RECIPE.

word-stuck:

Unwritten rules apply to inemuri 居眠り, including those who is allowed to do it (only those high up or low down in a company) and how it is performed (the person is supposed to remain upright to show they are still socially engaged in some way – as inemuri literally means, “sleeping while present). Read more.

intakings:

when i turn on the ceiling fan and it goes too fast, i feel like it’s gonna fly off and kill me

“Biology’s cruel joke goes something like this: As a teenage body goes through puberty, its circadian rhythm essentially shifts three hours backward. Suddenly, going to bed at nine or ten o’clock at night isn’t just a drag, but close to a biological impossibility. Studies of teenagers around the globe have found that adolescent brains do not start releasing melatonin until around eleven o’clock at night and keep pumping out the hormone well past sunrise. Adults, meanwhile, have little-to-no melatonin in their bodies when they wake up. With all that melatonin surging through their bloodstream, teenagers who are forced to be awake before eight in the morning are often barely alert and want nothing more than to give in to their body’s demands and fall back asleep. Because of the shift in their circadian rhythm, asking a teenager to perform well in a classroom during the early morning is like asking him or her to fly across the country and instantly adjust to the new time zone — and then do the same thing every night, for four years.”

Sleep and the teenage brain (via explore-blog)

This is why you have every right to be tired.  

(via lookrainbows)

gramercyk35:

No one ever said EMTs were mature

greekhamester:

once my great dane puppy got her head stuck in the couch… if that doesn’t perfectly describe big dogs I don’t know what does

actionables:

actionables:

I know a guy who didn’t realize he had an extra toe until he was 11

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